What’s Your World View?

T he new school year has just begun in most of the U.S. and that has become a regular topic of conversations when I chat with friends, colleagues or clients parenting school-aged children. In particular, I’ve noticed that the way people speak about the first week of school shows whether they’re internally or externally driven.

For example, when Ann told me about her daughter’s first week back, she told me that her daughter was a feeling overwhelmed by a couple of her Advanced Placement courses, her thrill at making the volleyball team, and the impact on the family’s schedule.

Diane, on the other hand, talked about buying three new pairs of jeans, three dresses, and a pair of boots when I asked about her daughter’s first week back in school, and when I asked how her classes were going she responded by telling me about the School Secretary commenting how pretty her daughter was in one particular dress.

Both of the teenagers in questions are beautiful young ladies, but it was clear to me that Ann was looking at her daughter from a place of heart – noticing first her emotional reactions to school – both triumphs and stress, even though there were new clothes purchased in that family, too. Diane, on the other hand, looks at the world from the outside.  She worries about her daughter’s weight, clothes, hair, make-up, and what everyone thinks about her, rarely focusing on how she feels.

I’ve known both of these women for more than twenty years, and when I stopped to think about it, I realized that the way they talk about their teenage daughters’ first week back in classes is also how they focus on life as a whole.  Diane is always seeking external validation for every aspect of her life; she invariably shares that she is unhappy about something, and believes that if her boss would change his ways – or her husband would be more supportive – her life would be better.  Ann used to be much the same, but the loss of her father and a divorce led her to re-evaluating every aspect of her life.  She found that when she began dealing with life’s ups and downs from a place of soul – and stopped worrying about what others thought – that her world become full of love and joy.

So, what about you?  What is your world view?

Do you look at the world from the Outside In? Are you always on the lookout for external validation of your choices?  Do you believe that in order to be successful, you need to wear the right jeans, carry the right bag, and be connected to the right people? Are you plodding through life, reacting to the world around you, and always blaming other people and circumstances for the imperfection of your life?

Or, does your world view glow with your inner fire as you look at things from and Inside Out perspective? Are you stepping out of the box and living from a place that your heart tells you is right?  Living from the inside out will have you making decisions based on your desires, creating your own happiness and focusing on your inner light and feelings. Life is messy, but embracing the imperfections and challenges with grace and dignity will keep you on an even keel.

If you want to live your best life, then the only way to get there is to live from within. Creating an intentional and deliberate path allows you to create a solid daily life that will be filled with joy.   My challenge to you for the week: notice the areas in your life where you are externally driven.  Begin to take steps towards being true to your inner needs.  And if you get stuck, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Are you willing to share?  What’s one way you are externally driven – and how can you begin to take your power back?


(Image is “Out of This World” by Gil Elgren)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

By Debra Smouse: Writer, life coach, and Tarnished Southern Belle, Debra helps people fall in love with their life. An expert de-tangler, she believes in busting clutter as a path to greater clarity and that within every woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar. A native Texan, she resides in Ohio with the Man of her Dreams.

11 Responses to “What’s Your World View?” Subscribe

  1. Kimberly Sherry September 2, 2011 at 2:32 am #

    How you do anything is how you do everything.
    Great newsletter Deb. I shared it on my FB site.

    • admin September 2, 2011 at 7:36 am #

      Thanks so much, Kimberly!


  1. The Power of 3 Little Words | Debra Smouse - December 29, 2011

    […] face it.  Resolutions are typically guided by a desire to fit in with outside expectations:  lose weight, eat healthy, get organized, etc.  Choosing a guiding focus for the year has […]

  2. Create Your Best Year Yet | Create Your Compass - December 30, 2011

    […] face it.  Resolutions are typically guided by a desire to fit in with outside expectations:  lose weight, eat healthy, get organized, etc.  Choosing a guiding focus for the year has […]

  3. Steer Your Heart to the Truth | Debra Smouse - March 15, 2012

    […] sets us up for a constant dialogue with our Inner Critic.  We base our idea of perfection on the outside world views:  a white picket fence, baking cookies, and being a hot sex-kitten for our man.  (Or for my guys […]

  4. Love Your Life: Clear Clutter from Your Path | Debra Smouse - Life Coach | Writer | De-Tangler - October 23, 2012

    […] can’t pinpoint what our next step is, so we look to the external world for what others are doing, and mimicking their steps as a semblance of guidance. Only to ask […]

  5. Your Heart’s Desires: Making It Happen | Debra Smouse - Life Coach | Tarnished Southern Belle - April 3, 2013

    […] it will give you a level of feeling successful, worthy and satisfied. But if you set goals based on external inputs only, it’s challenging to feel any level of satisfaction or success because the goals […]

  6. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. | Debra Smouse - Life Coach | Tarnished Southern Belle - June 22, 2013

    […] nce upon a time, I rushed from one moment to the next. The years were marked by milestones.   First Day of School.  Christmas. Vacation. My next business trip. Birthdays.  Attending a Wedding. A romantic weekend […]

  7. Declare Your Personal Freedom | Debra Smouse - Life Coach | Tarnished Southern Belle - July 5, 2013

    […] us cling to the ideals of true freedom from within.  Let us offer ourselves compassion and a modicum of […]

  8. Create a Life You Love. 1st Step: Awareness | Debra Smouse - Life Coach | Tarnished Southern Belle - August 16, 2013

    […] believed that looking at – and changing – external factors could create satisfaction with […]

  9. 14 Tricks for Getting Back in the Saddle | Debra Smouse - Life Coach | Tarnished Southern Belle - September 25, 2013

    […] do you want, darling? Don’t choose some unrealistic goal based on some arbitrary outside expectation. Figure out how you want to feel and create a goal focused on that feeling. Listen to the soft […]