Darling. It Will Be Ok.

H ello, my dear.  Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of how your life is going?  Are you feeling scattered?  Do you feel like you are hanging on by the knuckles to survive?

I know it’s hard.  It’s challenging to feel anything but dullness and pain.  It’s a struggle to see through the haze. You’re so close to it, that you can only see a single leaf.  So close you can’t see the tree, let alone the forest.

I want to tell you something, so listen closely:  It’s going to be okay.  You are going to get through this. Give yourself permission to drill your life down to the basics – getting up, showering, going to work, having dinner and going to bed.  Take encouragement from the smile on the face of the grocery store cashier and the inspirational quotes on PinterestLean into the love I’m throwing you across the internet.  I’m offering it to you with my full heart and faith in the human spirit, so go ahead and take it.

And hold tight to the knowledge that it will be okay.

Darling, you don’t have to keep it together and stay strong and feel nothing.  It’s okay to allow yourself to feel. It’s even okay to allow yourself to fall apart, because when you allow that, you can pick up the pieces and reassemble them into something that feels not like just surviving, but like you are thriving.

Do you believe in angels? If you generally don’t, then allow yourself to believe in them for just the next twenty-four hours.  Over that time, accept that there are a hundreds of angels by your side, rooting for you, and whispering to each other that you will not only survive this, but bloom when you get to the other side.

Look, I know you’re probably feeling alone.  You might even feel that you are the only person in the world who is feeling devastated, isolated, and sad.

But you aren’t.   You are not alone. 

What you are feeling are those shadow emotions that people rarely speak of, but the truth is that thousands of souls have been where you are now.  Heartbreak and pain are part of the human fabric.  Others have survived this, and even though you weren’t aware of it, they left a trail of breadcrumbs out of the pain and to the other side.  My dear, you can follow the breadcrumbs and trace their steps.  Survival and strength, dreams and love and coming out of pain are all on the other side of this.

You have in your core all the layers formed by the experiences of your life, and many strengths to call upon.  They are there, even if you didn’t think you had them. And darling? Ask for help.

It’s challenging to believe it right in this moment, but not only will it be ok, not only will you survive this, but you will begin to thrive again. The haze will be like a mirror after a steamy shower and you will see things clearly.

If you are feeling expectations to be the perfect mother and the perfect wife and the perfect anything-but-you, it’s okay to step away from that perfection and allow yourself to be who you are meant to be.

No matter what age you may be, it is never too late. It’s going to be okay.  I have faith that you can break out of the shell and begin pursuing the life of your dreams.

Your character will be stronger and you’ll have wisdom to offer to the world.

You will be happy. You will feel more joyful than you can imagine.  You will heal, and things that don’t seem healable will be integrated into the fabric of who you are.

Darling, I’ve been there.  And when it all fell apart, I began to discover what I really wanted in life.  I became an explorer and an adventurer.  I learned that living outside the lines of polite society’s expectations is an awesome place to live.

The breadcrumbs that I left have become the traces of thoughts and love found within my writings.  I created Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar to share not only the path, but to offer support and create a support society of others following similar paths.

I have faith.  I’m sending you my love.  It will be ok.

What about you?  What words of wisdom can you offer to those who are struggling?  Leave them here as comments.

No matter how bad life seems, you can create the kind of life you desire. Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar is a collection of the tools I used to shift from feeling crappy to happiness. There are six modules of lessons, a companion workbook containing all the worksheets and writing prompts, and more.


And, no, you don’t need fixing or to be rescued, but working with a coach can help the journey. You can bundle Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar with 6 coaching sessions.


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By Debra Smouse: Writer, life coach, and Tarnished Southern Belle, Debra helps people fall in love with their life. An expert de-tangler, she believes in busting clutter as a path to greater clarity and that within every woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar. A native Texan, she resides in Ohio with the Man of her Dreams.

11 Responses to “Darling. It Will Be Ok.” Subscribe

  1. Joanna Z. Weston August 29, 2012 at 10:35 am #

    Thank you for this beautiful post! I am going to share it with my followers, because you have said so much so perfectly.

    As for my own words of wisdom for those who are suffering, I wrote something very relevant back in June, which I will share here (if you don’t mind): http://www.3speedlife.com/2012/06/when-its-hard-and-sometimes-it-will-be/

    • Debra August 29, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

      Oh, thank you SO much, Joanna!


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