Connection is the Catalyst

W hen I did my personal values exercise last year, one of my top 10 values was connection.  When I really dug into it, I discovered that “connection” was deeper than I imagined. 

And connection is more powerful than I could see on the surface.

Connection is one of the things I love about what I do every day.  Whether I am writing or coaching, I have the opportunity to connect.

There are those surface connections that feed us in small ways:  the exchange of a smile as you pass someone in the grocery store.  Clicking the “like” on a cute photo on Facebook.

And there are the deeper connections.  The reading of a heartfelt blog post where we say “I get it!  I identify with that.  I am not alone in feeling the way I feel.”  The connection that occur with intimate conversations over coffee.

And the connection discovered by picking up the phone and allowing that voice-to-voice connection to feed our minds and spirits.

Coaching allows for another kind of connection.  The opportunity to assist a person as she reconnects with her true voice or disentangles years of behaving like she should, instead of how she truly wants.

Connection is the catalyst for discovering what a person wants and needs in order to love themselves.  And be in love with their life.

And what are  the most common “wants”  and “needs” that people express?

 To connect with a life where things flow with ease, instead of feeling strained, pushed or forced.

To build a deeper sense of intimacy with those whom they love, like a spouse or sibling.

To create a plan for their life – or at least have a path forward.

To connect with their life as a participant, and not an observer.

To feel rested.

To release worries.

To voice what’s wrong and discover what’s right.

Deeper understanding of their own desires.

To feel grateful.

Less cluttermental and physical.

To recognize their own accomplishments.

To celebrate those accomplishments.

To allow themselves to be loved.

To realize that they have value – to their families and to the world.

To forgive.  Others.  And also themselves.

To ease up on their unrealistic expectations they have on themselves.

To disentangle themselves from what’s not working.

To engage in what their heart is longing for.

To feel alive.

To be happy.

To be real.

To love.

And that, my dear, is the beauty and the power of connection.  

Words on a page or a voice at the other end of the phone can result in just the right phrase or question that triggers the clue  of what someone wants.

Connection goes beyond the surface and serves as a powerful catalyst for falling in love with life. 

I’m a week into my experiment and it’s going swimmingly.  I’ve talked to a half-dozen new folks – all of which have scheduled multiple sessions.   I’ve connected with a couple of former clients.    And I am so very blessed, because each of my current clients are taking advantage of extra sessions to serve as the tipping point for breakthroughs.  (I love my clients.)

I’d love for you to be one of those I have an opportunity to connect with.

What about you?  What are you seeking?  What would you add to this list of what’s wanted in the world? How would you like to connect?

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By Debra Smouse: Writer, life coach, and Tarnished Southern Belle, Debra helps people fall in love with their life. An expert de-tangler, she believes in busting clutter as a path to greater clarity and that within every woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar. A native Texan, she resides in Ohio with the Man of her Dreams.

11 Responses to “Connection is the Catalyst” Subscribe

  1. Joanna Weston May 31, 2012 at 11:08 am #

    Yes. This. I have never done a personal values exercise (though now I’m really curious what it entails!), but connection is very important to me, and a crucial piece of my desire to be a coach. Thank you for so eloquently expressing your thoughts on the subject, as they are my thoughts as well. 🙂

    • Debra June 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

      Thank you, Joanna! I love that about coaches – that deep desire to connect!

  2. Dana Boyle May 31, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    I love this post as connection is my top core value as well. It’s at the center of everything I do.

    For me, the only thing I’d add is that the reason I share my life so openly with those around me is because I am always seeking ways to connect with my friends, my audience, source, and anyone who I resonate with.

    Connection is how I process.

  3. Katie May 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

    I agree. Connection is THE thing. For me, it’s what makes life matter. I’m so glad so many of your clients and new ones are connecting with you. And I’m happy to have connected with you as well.

  4. An June 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

    Ah, connection. Love you connection list. Connection with others. Connection with ourselves. That’s life.

    • An June 1, 2012 at 5:21 pm #

      Ahum. Was not really connected with the ‘r’ on my keyboard there 🙂 That should read ‘love your connection list’ 🙂

  5. Blaze June 4, 2012 at 6:16 pm #

    Connections is my word of the year for 2012–you’re speaking my language! And isn’t it all about love? Loving yourself and everyone else too!


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